Chapter 33

Arsenius Explains

The full moon made the night almost like day. Yarrl and I were wide awake. I also wondered how a monk could endure such a terrible experience all alone.

“You’re fine, Yarrl.” Arsenius said, then repeated several times as he walked around the area, slow and steady; until he sat down facing us. “Both of you, just stay here on your blankets.” Yarrl sat up. My heartbeat was almost back to normal.

“Do you realize that everything we see in the physical world has been created by our own thoughts?” His voice was even, conversational.

“I’ve read that. But I’m not sure I understand what it means.” Yarrl replied and I nodded in agreement.

“When one’s mind is burdened by extreme tension, it sometimes creates things that aren’t physically real; and that’s exactly what a demons is and how it happens to come to us. Such thoughts are generated by the stress of constant conflict between the inner self and the outer physical world. So if something like that demon appears again, you have only to remember that demons are not real. A demon is an imaginary being created by your own mind. It’s kind of like a lesson that makes it clear when one is headed the wrong way.” He looked at us, back and forth, to make sure we got it.

“When one learns to pay attention and can remain calm no matter what, it’s possible to understand that everything perceived as turmoil or a threat is, in reality, a form of instruction. That’s the way it is while we’re in this world. It’s possible to guide oneself to disregard apparitions such as demons. Monks come to understand they’re not real and are able to free themselves to commune with the Ultimate One. After this life, when one is born into another, a different set of lessons will appear.”

I wasn’t surprised Arsenius mentioned reincarnation. Many early Christians believed in the concept as taught by Origen more than a hundred years before this time.

“Tensions that build in an individual mind are based on desires, fears and other kinds of pressures related to life in the physical world; and all that can prevent one from seeking a higher purpose or life path. But if one is able to persevere and overcome those distractions, the true vocation of one’s heart and life, a life path, may be found. That is meaningful and also benefits life in the next world.”

“Do you mean it’s a good thing to seek a true path like the monks?” Yarrl paid close attention. I hoped the demon hadn’t put Yarrl off that idea. He’d been excited the last couple of days.

“Yes, but only when one is ready. Some never become aware there could be something more beyond everyday life. Demands of family or work are sometimes all a person can cope with. Most people spend many lifetimes in the physical world before they’re ready to think of such a thing as a true path or higher purpose.

“One who believes something is missing in life might try hard to figure out what it is; and that’s a good beginning. Those of us at Baramus, and many other monks in the desert, have chosen to live far away from the distractions of cities and spend most of our time in silence.” Arsenius paused.

“The desert gives us time to think, ponder and discover what’s most important in life. As minds become clearer, they are better able to focus. But if tensions run too high and cause extreme distress or fear; a demon is sometimes manifested. You see, Yarrl, those creatures are projections of one’s own inner conflicts.”

“So that beast was like a dream or vision?”

“Yes, you could say that. When there’s a fierce struggle in the mind, the demon one sees can be extremely intimidating. If such a creature seems too real, it can drive a person mad. In the past, most hermit monks had no guidance or help from peers. Some of them died when overcome by fears.

“Meditation in silence can be beneficial and bring one comfort, even enlightenment. But you must remember that too much isolation and quiet can also have a negative effect on the mind. Thoughts can get out of control, especially over many days or weeks. So one’s life must always be kept in balance.

“In the city, people rarely experience demons as they’re distracted by the noise and their busy lives which prevent, or at least dilute, any intense inward experiences. But when you’re alone in the desert, every decision you make must be considered in relation to your own safety.”

“Thanks, I think I understand more about the desert now, and some of the challenges monks have to deal with.” Yarrl seemed to have pulled himself together. “I’m so glad you were here when that demon came. It was excessively real.” Yarrl almost chuckled as he made a face.

“But Arsenius, what were the plants for if the creature isn’t real?”

“The plants act as a kind of mediator between the mind and the rational self.” Arsenius hesitated, as if considering how much he should say. “They create a barrier around us while we sleep and their strong odor helps protect us from our own thoughts.”

That was good enough for us; we accepted his explanation, relaxed and slept soundly. No dreams, no demons.

When we woke up the sun was high in the eastern sky and Arsenius was gone. We looked around the area, maybe to make sure a demon hadn’t been there. Off to one side were several large tracks in the sand of a two-legged creature with talons. Maybe a bird of prey? We followed the tracks until they met up with sandal prints that must have been made by Arsenius. There they ended, as if the creature had flown away.

It didn’t seem right; something created by the mind shouldn’t leave physical evidence. But nothing in this place was like city life where we knew what to expect. Finally, tired of getting all worked up over everything that didn’t fit with our past; we let it go to trust the old man and move on. Yarrl had also seen the sandal prints headed away from our sleeping area, but decided to let Arsenius perform his morning rituals without interruption. It was clear he knew this area well; we did not.

As we waited, still curious about how big that imaginary demon was; I let go of any serious thoughts and relaxed. I trusted Arsenius and was thankful to have him with us.

Yarrl moved about, looking at some big boulders, poking at rocks in a dry stream bed off to one side, more relaxed than he’d been at the monastery.

“You know, Artemus, being here with Arsenius is kind of like being in another world. It seems a long time since I lived in the city.” His awareness of the desert and interest in the people seemed to be growing. Good signs, I thought.

Arsenius came back in the afternoon with a handful of edible plant roots and a vessel of fresh water for our daily meal.

“Would you tell me about your God, the Ultimate One?” Yarrl asked Arsenius and I nodded my agreement with the question.

“Yarrl, there is a Divine Being within each of us. All we have to do to understand and gain wisdom is listen. I find the words to be so soft and quiet that only when I’m alone in the desert can I hear them clearly.

“Can you feel that presence now?” He looked first at Yarrl and then over at me. Neither of us answered aloud.

“The voice is present within you, Artemus, but you must focus more and spend time in stillness to hear it. If both of you follow my instructions and concentrate your attention as I suggest, the internal voice will become clearer and you’ll begin to hear. As you meditate and pay attention, you will each discover your own true life path.”

Later, near the cave opening at the foot of that huge, sloped rock face, Arsenius had us sit cross-legged on our blankets, introduced us to the practice of meditation and taught us the words of a certain chant.

 NEXT.....Chapter 34
The Guardians